This nightmare we are now living all started with a one line email from my husband, six long years ago … “ would you like to adopt a baby boy from Mexico?”

It was that moment that dramatically changed our lives both for the best and the worst…  We met the birth parents – who wanted to give the baby to us that very day… he was two weeks old and so very precious.  We had narrowed down baby boy names to Alex and Ben when we were pregnant with Sasha, 5 years previously.  We agreed, instantaneously, from the moment we held him that he is a definite Max, not a Ben! We told them that we needed to go home and discuss it as a family and speak to an attorney in the states and that we needed to make sure this was done right.

Over the next two weeks, two separate attorneys advised us that if we take custody of the child on the US side then we could legally adopt him in the state of Arizona and you file for citizenship after he has been in your custody for two years.  So we did just that.

Custody documents were signed and we obtained temporary custody of Max, pending the final adoption in Arizona   The next day we took him to the doctor for a checkup and his first set of vaccinations. The Doctor said, he was small for his age and that even though his stomach appeared to be distended that with  immediate proper nutrition he would be fine.

On March 7, 2005, after satisfying all the necessary requirements, home study, psychological exam, the fiscal requirements, and the fingerprint/background check, the adoption was finalized.  However we were already a family of four from the moment he came into our home back on October 20, 2004.  On April 14, 2005, the State of Arizona issues Birth Certificate Birth Number: FB102-04-00443.

We lived our lives as any normal family, until December 2006, when under the advice of an immigration attorney we filed the I-130 Petition for Alien Relative with the Department of Homeland Security.

At that time we searched the civil registry in Sonora, Mexico for a birth certificate and found nothing.

In September 2007, we filed the I-864 application.

In the beginning of December 2007, we hired a Mexican attorney to get the Mexican Birth Cert and Passport and at the end of January 2009 we received both documents.

In February 2008, the American Immigration Attorney filed the I-864W and one month later in March 2008, we received a letter indicating that an immigrant visa interview had been scheduled for our son at the U.S. Consulate in Ciudad Juarez on May 7, 2008.

So my mother flew out from NY to stay with our daughter, now 9, and Max, Scott and I took off in our car across the southern US to El Paso, Texas to cross into Ciudad Juarez, Mexico.

Wed. April 30, Max was examined in Juarez, Mexico as required by the State Department and given a test for Tuberculosis.   Friday, May 1, 2008 Max was cleared and we received the sealed envelope containing the medical information and TB test results.

We arrived for appointment  at 7:15 AM as scheduled on appointment letter.  We waited in building “C” for an hour, before we met with a clerk there who briefly went over the paperwork and documents-we were then instructed to move to building B.

We were then made to wait outside  building B, for close to a half hour, before being  “chosen” to enter the building-We waited for several hours until approximately 2:30, when we were called to window 24, and the interview commenced.  We went over and raised our right hands and swore that we were about to tell the whole truth.   This consular clerk said there were some problems with the file and the adoption expert would have to explain them to us.  She demanded that we take seat.   We then talked to a woman who supposedly was the expert on adoption cases.  She proceeded to speak to us in Spanish, and became frustrated, and rude, when we explained we were not native Spanish speakers, and needed her to speak to us in English.  (it should be noted here, that throughout this experience, we were spoken to in Spanish by all consulate personnel, creating more frustration for us, and placing us in a great disadvantage..none of the official Consular staff with whom we dealt with were native English speakers, thus, most if not all, of our communication with them, was disjointed leaving much room for error)

This consular employee then stated emphatically that there were problems with Max’s adoption in Arizona, and inquired as to his Mexican adoption (of which there wasn’t, as we were never advised this was necessary).  She stated that there “were steps you needed to take”, and refused to tell what these steps were.  Our file was closed, literally, and we were told to take a seat as our case was going to be referred to another department and we would be called again. After another hour, we were given a sheet of paper and told to return to building “C”. We were treated with great disrespect, due in part to her lack of knowledge, of this adoption issue. Had our file been read and reviewed prior to this moment, by any consular staff member they would have  known there was no Mexican adoption. Again, there was never a need to go through the process of a Mexican adoption was this was never an inter-country adoption.

We waited for a half hour in building “C”, until we were called again to a window, to speak to a gentleman, whose name he refused to give. This man told us our case was being referred to the fraud division/department and told nothing more. He told us we would have to return the following day at 9:00 AM, we were given a yellow instruction sheet, written in Spanish.  We asked for a document written in English and were refused.

The bathrooms were dirty and there wasn’t any soap to wash one’s hands – Max got a very bad case of diarrhea and subsequent extreme diaper rash.

We had three days of interviews at the Consulate, after which we were told a visa would not be issued and that we would have to speak with officials at DIF (Mexican Child Services), concerning the status of Max’s identity. We were told the custody and adoption, done in Arizona was not done properly, but no one at the Consulate could provide any additional assistance, or guidance on the matter. We were told that we had to go to the local DIF office in Juarez.  Three employees from the Consulate went with us, and as it turns out, they took us to the DIF orphanage, not the administrative office.  We were told to hand the baby to the one gentleman as Max may have to remain in the orphanage for a few days…none of this was explained to us while we were interviewed at the Consulate.  We began screaming and yelling and then the gentleman went around the back of the building and came back and said that the officials in the orphanage for some reason didn’t want to take Max and we should consider ourselves lucky.  For as long as we live, those words, “Max may have to stay here for a few days” will forever haunt us. To think, even for a second, that one’s child could be taken away, would fill any parent’s heart with terror.

We asked what the next steps were and for the paper that had been prepared for our meeting they wouldn’t give them to me. Nor would they give us the required yellow sheet with the next appointment time and date on it. They said we had to call and it would all be explained to us.  Scott called the Director of the Fraud Division who said it was all a mistake that her employees misunderstood and took us to the orphanage by mistake instead of the administrative offices. Again, when we requested copies of the documents she signed, we were refused.

We left Juarez the next morning at 5 am in the dark to drive to our home in Puerto Penasco – 12 hours on the Mexican side of the border, on the advice of our American immigration attorney and a representative from Congresswoman Gifford’s office.

Week of May 12, our immigration attorney called and spoke with an investigator with the Fraud division within the Consulate. A meeting with was scheduled for Tuesday May 20, 2008. We were told it was just an informal meeting, to gather the facts and there was no need for us to bring an attorney to the meeting.

Tuesday May 20, we met with three individuals at the Consulate. They said they would make a meeting for us with DIF in Hermosillo and that we needed to be sure to be there for that.  They accused of us of not being at a meeting that was supposedly scheduled for the Tuesday before… a meeting which we were never advised of.

 We separately approached our employers (with whom we had each been employed for @ 10 years) and requested to work alternating weeks in the office in Tucson and from our second home 4 hours south of the border in Puerto Penasco Mexico. They agreed and so for the next six months from June to December 2007 one of us lived with our daughter in Tucson and the other with our son in Mexico.

For the entire month of June, Max stayed home with us while we worked from the house – he was 3 at this time. In July he went to camp from 9-1, Monday thru Friday.   It was a bilingual school, however the activities were conducted in Spanish with an hour or two of English classes, each day. In August that first year again he was home with us all day while we worked from the house.  He started kindergarten that September, at the same bilingual school. This proved to be very traumatic for Max,. who until this time, had never been immersed in such a way, in the Spanish language.  This language barrier manifested itself in many emotional and psychological issues for Max.  Imagine, being uprooted from the school and friends you knew, and then found yourself surrounded by people who speak a different language than yourself?

We then hired two Mexican Attorneys, one criminal and one family law. June 11, 2008 our Mexican attorneys obtained a Constancia De Nacimiento signed by a doctor certifying that a baby boy was born in Nogales, to Max’s birthmother.

 They arranged a meeting for us with the person in charge of DIF for the state of Sonora, who assured us they would not take Max from us but would need to send people from the Penasco office out for a home visit.  The head of the Civil Registry had also been contacted and he said that they both had spoken with American Officials from the consulate regarding our case and that the consulate believed we were involved in child trafficking. However they did not believe that and they were required by Mexican law to act in the best interest of the child and they could clearly see that it was in the best interest of this child to be with us – his family!

August 2008 – We hired a new American immigration attorney.  The Mexican and American Attorneys met and determined that the best course of action was to pursue a Recognition of Foreign Judgment to get him adopted in Mexico as well so that we could get his Mexican documents in our name to satisfy the American consulate.

Interestingly enough the people at the AMERCIAN consulate said and continue to say they are acting in the best interest of the child.  How is what they are doing to us by forcing that child to live apart from his family in two different countries in the best interest of said child?